


No Homo, Bro

by phoreverphan



Series: Ficmas 2017 [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cliche af, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:50:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13009170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoreverphan/pseuds/phoreverphan
Summary: In which Dan outs them by buying him and Phil matching lockets for Christmas.





	No Homo, Bro

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is cute and funny. Hopefully, you do too!

Everyone knew that Dan was straight. A heterosexual. The straightest straight to ever straight. The only person straighter than him was his boyfriend.

 

It wasn't that they were afraid to come out. Their school was pretty open-minded and they were certain that almost everyone would be accepting. It was simply that it made more sense to keep it a secret.

 

So no, they weren't scared, but that didn't mean they wanted everyone to know. Or at least, Dan didn't. Whilst was Dan was always pretty closed off, Phil had always been openly affectionate to people of all genders.

 

Like when he flirted with Louise. Or slapped PJ’s ass. Or had the whole segment with Connor where he called him Daddy and stroked Connor’s thigh and bit his lip in that way that Dan wished was only for him. Again.

 

Dan knew that that was the way Phil was. And he knew that everyone knew it. And so, when they had started dating, they had decided they would both carry on as normal, so as to maintain the  _ secret _ part of their  _ secret _ relationship. But despite Dan knowing perfectly well that he had agreed to what Phil was doing, and that it was, in fact, the best plan, he couldn’t help but feel just a little bit jealous.

 

* * *

 

 

Dan was lying in bed, wondering what to get Phil for Christmas. He was going through all their inside jokes in his head, hoping to come across something that would inspire him.

 

Everything single joke they had was shared by at least one other person. Well, except one.

 

No Homo, Bro

 

The two of them had to keep up a lot of facades, but one they never minded was the “no homo bros.” It was like calling yourself gay: being homophobic, but in a funny way that didn’t offend anyone because it was actually true. It was especially an in-joke because they were closeted. They could joke all they wanted about being gay, and no one would suspect a thing. It seemed like they were just playing along.

 

So getting Phil a present based around that was funny, and most people probably wouldn’t get exactly what it meant. That was good, right? He knew Phil was pretty open towards the idea of coming out, but Dan wanted to be cautious. He had spent so much time in his life being anxious over how many friends he had, and now, when everything was going well for him, he didn’t want to risk it.

 

But, somehow, the prospect of keeping their inside joke, well,  _ inside _ , was a little bit disappointing. Dan was ready. But what was the best way to tell everyone just how in love he was? What was the most cliche thing he could  _ possibly _ do?

 

_ Promposal? It was Christmas. They had a while. _

_ Birthday party? Phil’s birthday wasn’t soon enough. And besides, it wasn’t cliche enough. _

_ Matching clothes? The best idea yet. But they had a school uniform. They had to wear matching clothes anyway. _

_ What else? Wait! Matching clothes wouldn’t work but… matching jewelry would. Lockets. Engraved. Now. _

 

Dan scrambled out of bed and grabbed his laptop. It was past midnight. Oh well, this was important. Fingers rushed across keys, a foot tapping in impatience as the website loaded.

 

It seemed that the cheapest place to get custom jewelry was still too expensive. $50 apiece. Dan sighed.  _ Was it worth it? For Phil it was. _

 

He opened a desk drawer, pulling out a Visa gift card, a birthday present he had been saving. Dan hesitated a moment, but  _ oh, what the heck? _ This was as good a time as any.

 

Dan scrolled through his options. Silver lockets, heart shaped, engraved. A box popped up, asking what he wanted written on the necklaces.

 

No Homo Bros

 

Quantity: 2. Ordered. The website said they would arrive in five to ten business days. That meant… December 22. Perfect.

 

* * *

 

It was Friday, December 22. The last day before winter holiday. Dan was standing in the cold, hoping upon hope that Phil would be at school. Dan’s hands were in his pockets, running his fingers across two little boxes anxiously.

 

Wait. There was Phil, opening the gate and coming towards Dan. Where had he been?

 

“Happy almost Christmas!” Phil was grinning. “I got you a present.”

 

Dan’s eyes widened.

 

“It’s really cliche, but…” He opened his backpack and grabbed a small paper bag, handing it to Dan. Dan took it, pulling out a small brown bear holding a heart. Dan looked at Phil in surprise.

 

“Yeah, I know it’s weird, sorry, I just, I don’t know, I–” Phil was nervous. That was good. It meant Dan didn’t have to be.

 

“No, Phil! This is adorable, thank you so much.” Dan leaned in to give Phil a hug. Phil seemed hesitant. “What’s wrong?” Maybe Dan shouldn’t have done that. Maybe Phil wouldn’t be as okay with being out as Dan had anticipated. Maybe–

 

“Nothing, I’m fine, I was just making sure you were sure you actually wanted to hug, you know, because we’re not out.”

 

Dan blushed. He had the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Phil was so considerate, and cared so much about whether Dan was comfortable. Dan took a deep breath.

 

“Actually,” he began, “I wanted to talk to you about that.”

 

Dan brought out the boxes.

 

“What, are you proposing to me or something?” Phil laughed, looking at the box in admiration.

 

“No, but you’re pretty close. Open it.”

 

Phil took the box, undoing the ribbon and taking off the lid. “Dan–”

 

“Read it.”

 

“No Homo Bros.” Phil laughed, drawing the stares of lots of kids around him.

 

“Look, I have a matching one. It’s like those BFF necklaces, but better. And they’re lockets.”

 

“Wow.” Phil was blushing. His eyes were damp. “And I thought my present was cheesy.”

  
  


Dan and Phil walked hand in hand the whole day. They got a lot of strange looks, and every time, one or the other would hold up their linked hands, point to the necklaces around their neck, and say with a shrug,

 

No Homo.


End file.
